I like to think that I can always be selflessly happy for those I know when they achieve something.
But in reality, that’s not true. Sometimes it’s really hard.
I want what they’ve got.
I struggle to celebrate successes.
I look longingly through the keyhole of a curated life.
I wish of that for me.
I choose to extinguish my own sense of joy and make what isn’t at all about me, into just the opposite.
Jealousy sees another person for what they have, rather than who they are.
There’s entitlement, frustration, contempt, and shame wrapped up in there.
So, when I feel the panicking swell of ‘what about me’ rising inside, I am trying to ask myself instead:
- What is this feeling trying to tell me?
- Why am I making this about me?
- Are we chasing the same thing?
- What can I learn from you?
- What do we have in common?
- What do I have to be thankful for, right now?
This can help refocus the lens, take the bitter edge off, help us to mean what we say.
Perfection isn’t worth chasing, but health, kindness and generosity absolutely are.