‘Why’ and ‘how’

Photo above by Philip Strong on Unsplash

He who has a why to live for, can bear almost any how. 

Friedrich Nietzsche

Maybe you started because you were excited.

Maybe you started it to show them you are smart enough.

Maybe you started it because you were curious.

Maybe you were sure you were going to succeed.

Maybe you wanted the challenge.

Maybe you were chasing love, or money, or power, or passion.

Maybe you started it because you were feeling anxious, or melancholic, or needy, or envious.

Anything that last longer than a week needs a ‘why’ behind it. A ‘why’ that you’ve consciously thought about, that will sustain you. Otherwise, you’ll stumble out of the starting blocks when the ‘how’ starts to creep up on you. Doing this new thing will create friction as you’re forced to find space to accommodate it among your commitments, your habits, your expectations.

The fifth date was great fun, but it got a little heated when you mentioned your spending habits.

The new job is finally starting to make sense, but you don’t feel like you can truly be yourself around your colleagues.

Shopping for all that new gear made you feel pretty virtuous, but you’ve just missed the third training ride in a row.

It’s tempting to think that our ‘why’ must stay strong and resolute, for that was what got us involved in the first place. But we don’t stay motivated by the same things. Circumstances shift. We experience new emotions. Our motivations adapt accordingly.

One of the smartest, bravest, kindest things we can do is listen to ourselves when our ‘why’ is changing. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s time to throw out the ‘how’.

It may just be a clue that we’re maturing, we’re growing, we’re learning new things.  

Finding a new ‘why’ might just be the fuel you need to keep going.

What a gift.